WE LIKE WHAT’S FAMILIAR AND KNOWN
When I started my training to become a Life Coach, I was really doubting myself and my choice to make this career change.
At a time I had a pretty good 9-5 job (but not aligned to my soul), I had a pretty good income (but not my ideal), my life was pretty good in general (but not really great). Pretty good - another way of saying "mediocre”. I was settling for things that are pretty good. But deep down I wanted to have a great life: to follow my purpose, have fun, feel happy and at ease.
Because I value certainty, I had mixed feelings about changing my job. On one hand I liked the fact that I knew how it all works at my 9-5. I had a steady paycheck coming every month. I knew what to expect.
On the other hand, my heart was screaming: „This is not the way anymore!” I knew what changes I
desired: I wanted to be a Life Coach and run my own business. I wanted independence, working with
clients that I love, having time and location freedom, helping people to change their lives, raise their
standards, and upgrade what they think is possible for them. On top of that, I wanted to change things in a way that will make me feel safe to satisfy my need for certainty.
Even though I knew changing my job from working 9-5 to having my own business will be good for me
on so many levels, it was still hard. The process of change was hard. We love things that are familiar and known. Even if they don’t serve us anymore. What once was your ideal (like my 9-5 job for me few years ago), changes over time. Why? Because you change, my dear. Our bodies change, our thoughts change, our beliefs change, life is a constant change. I’ve changed and so my vision for my work has changed too. We are afraid of it, but let’s learn how to dance with this fear, shall we? :)
WHAT’S STANDING IN YOUR WAY?
So, fear. The big, scary, "F” word. In my case, I was afraid of so many things: am I good enough to be a
Life Coach? Will I have any clients? When will I feel ready? Am I experienced enough? Why am I doing
this again? My perfectionism really kicked in. Limiting beliefs aka annoying thoughts like: you need more training, you need more experience, you need more certifications — they stopped me from taking action. This is just one of the ways our mind works to protect us from the unknown - coming up with millions of reasons why not to do something. We perceive taking action with more pain, than pleasure coming from the change we want. And this is where you can start to challenge your challenging change :)
You can start by doing the following exercise:
Step 1: make a list of all the reasons why you can’t change your situation even tough you want to, all the negative, discouraging thoughts. Write it all down until you run out of ideas.
Step 2: write down all the pain you think you’ll experience by taking action and changing your situation.
Step 3: argue in writing with your list of reasons from point 1 and 2, as if you were a lawyer in a
courtroom. Give counter arguments. Defend your ideas, your reasons to change. Make it strong and
powerful.
Step 4: write down all the pleasurable and good things you’ll experience by taking action and making the change.
Step 5: read the pleasure list every day for a week :)
TAKE THE LEAP!
First step to change something is to really make a decision. I had to decide I really want to quit my job
and launch my coaching business. When I finally did, all things started to fall into place: I got pregnant
and I was able to take one-year-long paid maternity leave, which made it possible for me to launch my
business with a financial safety net. And I ended up with a list of clients waiting for me to be ready to
come back to work after having my beautiful baby boy.
The second thing is to take inspired action. What do I mean by that? Inspired action is something that
will move you closer to you goals. It’s the hard thing, even if it’s really small. This thing you’ve been
avoiding for a while. You know exactly what it is for you. Am I right or am I right? :)
For me it was telling my boss that I’m not coming back after my maternity leave. It was launching my
website. And it was actually launching my business.
And the last thing I want to mention is support. It’s hard to do everything by yourself and you definitely
don’t have to do it so. Where do you need support around your change? Who can help you with that? For me it was (and still is) about finding balance between taking care of my baby and slowly coming back to coaching my clients. I needed somebody to support me by taking care of my baby with love so that I can safely work few hours per week.
If you’d like to learn more about making decisions and working through your limiting beliefs, I strongly recommend the book "Awakening the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins.
Katarzyna is a Self-Confidence Coach helping women to tap into their unique power, live by their purpose, and accomplish things they never thought they could. Get to know her better here: www.katarzynamorzewska.com.